Dien Woche in der Office X

Continuing with the "random thoughts in German" theme then, as you can probably deduce, being intelligent as you are. Well, I mean, c’mon, you must be fairly quick because you have come to this site, the nerve center, as it were, of all intelligent thought on the face of the planet.

Welcome to this "bumper issue" of TWITO, now with two weeks worth of pointless natter in the space usually used for just one. Kinda like one of those two for one offers at some shop somewhere (sorry, I have to be vague), only slightly different in the fact that it is not a product as such that you are getting when you "purchase" this........oh, shut up Bigal, you’re a mong.

Sorry. I have just lately started developing a large split personality syndrome typa thing. Some say I have gone mental. I don’t think so. You see where I’m coming from, yes?

Anyway, the main theme this week has been my 18th birthday. Nothing much happened in the week before that so I didn’t bother writing about it. Yes, anyway, I’m 18. Thats 18. Eight-Teen. Oh brother. See, whilst having another birthday and recieving monetary offerings of various amounts is always nice, growing one year older, I have discovered, is not. I am now very old. This means I can no longer behave like a prat and get away with it. Not that I ever have. No, I leave that up to Fat, cos he’s damned better at it compared to me. My efforts postively pale in comparison to his amazing twatness.

So anyway, elsewhere in the "eciffo" this week:

• We went out for a meal. After the meal we consumed a number of intriguingly named "Mojo" sweets. After numerous crys of "I’ve lost my Mojo!", I considered the possiblities and reasons why these sweets are named thus. They are positively endless, let me assure. Therefore, I would like to know, do these sweets actually boost you’re mojo? If not, quite frankly they should be removed as per the trades discription act. Answers, please, people.
• Amidst the rush to apply to university, Fat came out with this cracker: (me) "Fat, are you mad?" (Fat) "No, I’m applying." If that makes any sense you can beat me with large sticks till morning comes.
• Doosh (you’ll meet him later) sent an astonishing number of pointless and slap worthy emails to me. I counted 15 in one day once.
• The Lang seemed to have disappeared. Then we discovered he hadn’t. So thats alright then.
• Vesten "Porn King" Tit-Hewl spent many a happy hour telling us just why his new column shouldn’t be called "Vesten’s View". Please, just don’t ask. Long story. I’ll tell it to you when you’re old enough.
• I was banned from mentioning the Webmaster’s beard ["Say that word again and I will personally decapitate you!" - Ed]. By the way, the Beard [CHOP!! ... BigAl is quickly rush to surgery and returns in perfect condition - Ed], as it is now known, has not gained anything whatsoever in strength in the last two weeks, sparking "Its fake!" rows over the length and breadth of the nation. Or not.

Till the next fabulous installment,

Stay livin’,

Bigal

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