This Week in the office XII

Unfortunatly, the illness that was present about my person last week seems to have decided to very much outstay it’s welcome by increasing it’s time of infection by twofold. That is, I’ve still got it.

Which means, my fine friends, that I have not been at school much this week. In fact, I believe my overall attendance record for this week was a day and a half precisly. Due to this unfortunate circumstance I have been sadly unable to find out just what has been happening during the week at school. However, I can probably guess quite accuratly, so, in fine fettled (don’t ask me why exactly I said that) diary form, here is the up to date, but unlikely to be accurate version of events this week.

Monday: Fat walks in. Fat sits down. Fat realises that I am not present (it takes him till the early afternoon and much talking to people who aren’t there for him to realise this). Fat sends me a pointless text message containing offensive langauge, to the effect that if I do not transport my rear end down to school he will beat me. I think: "pointless twat" and go back to bed. As a knee jerk-reaction to my absence, Fat attempts to beat the Webmaster. Vesten gets on his high horse because someone makes a comment about his "off the record" tradings in pornographic material. Vesten makes a pointless comment like: "Well, I think that you are all perverts." when in presence of veritable monks. Everyone leaves. End of day.

Tuesday: I was in today. Fat went swimming. I imagine that he did this alone because the pool usually emptys of people when he gets in. All part of his "get fit quick" scheme. Unfortuanatly the offer of a Mcbacon roll for just £0.99p proves to much for him on the journey back from the swimming pool. Everybody leaves. End of day.

Wednesday: I arrive late. Fat makes a pointless comment. I hit him. I go home. End of day.

Thursday: I hear nothing. End of day.

Friday: Fat gets in. Fat sits down. Fat breaks chair. Fat goes to speak to me....then realises after half an hour of monologue that there is, in fact, no-one there. Fat sends me a pointless text message containing much offensive langauge to the effect that if I do not transport my rear end to school in the next five minutes he will kill me. I ignore. End of day.

Elsewhere in the office this week:

Well, I can’t be bothered to think of an amusing comment. So nerr.

Bye.

Bigal


Back to the "Previous Installments" list