This Week In The Office XXVIII

Act 1: INTRO-STYLEE BIT

Hiya.

This is an astoundingly good intro, you agree, yes?

Act 2: FOCUS ON…FAT BAT: BECAUSE WE HAVEN’T FOCUSED ON HIM FOR A WHILE

Ok, I just discovered, with a shock, that last weeks Focus On… was an incredible 1,443 words in length. That is longer than most essays that I write at school. It’s also longer than anything The Webmaster has ever written. Ever. Good grief. I’m so sorry to everyone who got bored. I didn’t intend for it to be so long, and I’m sorry, I’ll try not to let it happen again.

Anyway, back to this week’s business. Oh, and an apology before I start for the fact that this article will possibly be a little bit jumbled and badly expressed, but my word processing software (no advertising, remember) is playing me for a fool and putting those stupid red or green squiggly lines underneath very nearly everything I write. In fact, it just put one there, right under the last sentence. What’s its excuse this time….Long Sentence (No suggestions). How very unhelpful.

So, this week marked the team’s last return to the office from holiday ever. It’s weird, that. No one else seems to realise just how strange it is apart from me, so at the risk of looking like a limp wristed sentimental fool in front of my peers, I just bottle it all up inside. Ah well. All’s well that ends well. What is certain now is that the end is very much in sight for us all.

When I said that no one else seems to think about the end of our school lives like me, I was possibly lying. You see, Fat Bat does seem to be aware. However, his method of handling grief is somewhat different to mine. During the last week it has become apparent, to me and The Webmaster in particular, that Fat Bat seems to be on an ultra violent streak. Ok, so the stupid word processor just underlined that as well, with the excuse of…Order Of Words (No Suggestions). Foolish machine. So, where was I? Oh yes. Fat Bat seems to have a little bit of a psychopathic theme running for the remaining weeks of our school life, seemingly hell bent on wrecking everything and everyone in sight. He has a peculiar and somewhat alarming fetish at the moment for slapping people. I fear for the lad’s sexuality sometimes, I truly do. Anyway, let’s not dwell, its not good for you. On with the next section.

Act 3(a): Elsewhere in the Office this week…

Act 4: THE END

From the official TWITO mourning control centre,

Thankyou and goodnight!

BIGal

Act 4 Part B Subheading D Section 4(a) Paragraph(s) 1-110 (inclusive): IN THE CD CASE OF BIGAL

Well, I haven’t had time to plan and construct this section fully this week - again - so for now, and possibly the remaining weeks in the life of TWITO, I’ll just continue by giving you a list of the top CD’s from my 12 CD case this week (I carry it around with me in case Fat Bat starts talking at me). Eventually this will be embellished by full reviews, pictures and the like, but you’ll have to wait till TWITO finishes for that.

Case 1: (If you missed this last week and the week before that, it works like a kind of countdown thing, with 6 CD’s in each case and one in my actual Discman, the one from the Discman being the week’s Number 1)

Case 2:

Discman Disk of The Week:

Chart Round up: Self-explanatory really, just some simple shifting around this week.

Until next time,

Stay alive and go and sample some Jeff Buckley,

BIGal

Ps. When I was spell checking, I discovered that the spell checker wanted me to change “Alanis Morissette” to “Alan’s Moistest”. Other spell checking suggestions will be the subject of next week’s Focus On… so if your spell checker has ever suggested anything ridiculous then Email me the error to bigal@thewebpaper.co.uk and I’ll put it in for you.


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