This Week In The Office III

"Welcome to this week’s edition of "This Week In The Office", and here is you’re host, Dale Winton!!!"

Ok, so there really is no need to worry. I was just relating to y’all a nightmare which I had the other week about this seris turning into something rather tacky, like my previous venture with the articles on this site did. Luckily, that camp dude Dale Winton will not be taking my place as you’re host. Oh. No. I will not put you through that agony. I’m staying put.

Well, this week in the office has been mostly quiet, mostly because I haven’t actually been at the school we call the office for most of the week cos I’ve been ill. (Mental note: find out why we refer to a school as an office) Apart from the obvious plus points to being off of school, in my particular case there seem to also be a number of tragic negative ones. These were most evident during this week.

The negative points that I have been talking about include, conveniently some might say, both Fat Bat and the Webmaster, for much the same reason, though I would like to say that I am most certainly not likening the Webmaster to Fat Bat in any way, shape, or form, because quite frankly this would be very depressing for him, perhaps causing him such angst that he may be driven to jump off a cliff, or cut one of his ears off. Yeah, anyway, the problem that I have when I am ill is with people phoning me. Here is a typical example of an everyday, average Webmaster phone call, whether or not I’ve been ill previous or not (they don’t change, just get more annoying):

"Hello, its Chris."
"Yes?"
"Have you been ill or something?"
"Yes."
"Get me your articles, right now. Bye."
"Bye."

Bada boom bada bing, a webmaster phone call. No pity, no sympathy, just an agrievance as to the were abouts of his darned articles. Fair enough. This is an example of a wonderful Fat Bat phone call:

"Hi, it’s Mattt."
(Groan) "Yes." (Long silence follows)
"I’m confused."
"Tragic."
"Help me."
"No. Bye."

Pointless and time consuming. Why?

Anyway, elsewhere in the office this week:

• Steven "Porn King", now completley paranoid after the episode involving the pornography and the computer, has become a technophobe and will never touch the internet again. He even got me to check his email for him the other day. The cheek. Instead of sitting doing "nothing" (on the internet) during computing lessons, he stooped to new lows by having an interesting and bemusing discussion about breakfast cereals and his future ambitions to try them all. No, really, he is that sad.
• The Lang, ever the voice of reason in a world inhabited with madmen, became a recluse after Fat Bat touched him (again: see last weeks episode), grew a beard and retired in a fetching white frock to the Himilayas to seek his "inner self". I suspect he will be back and in need of counselling after he achieves this.
• The Webmaster broke his record for the least number of social engagments in one weekend by holing up in his room with his computer and refusing to leave until he had finished editing the website. Pity him, readers, pity him.

Until next time, good bye.

Bigal

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