This Week in The Office V

It is the end term. Woo-hoo. Rejoice.

Yes readers, the point has come in the school year were the amassed ranks of pupils from our school all simultaneously pour out of the front gates and gorge themselves on food from the McDonalds down the road. That is, that's what they would do if Barrett hadn't beaten them to it.

Well, as you may have guessed, the main thing that happened this week in the office was the end of school, so I haven't actually got much to write about. One of the unexpected entertainment features on this years end of term calender was the usual arrival of the school report. Now, as most of you will know, school reports are very rarely a good thing. However, The Webmaster's, Fat's and my own report made most entertaining reading.

Let me explain: our reports all include a statment from our form tutor summing up our contribution to the form over the year and so on and so forth. This year, suspiciously, Mine, the Webmasters and Fats statements all seemed......hmmm, how to put it......the same. I don't mean they were litrally the same. They all had different word orderings, but they all seemed to be saying the same thing. For example:

• Myself and The Webmaster were described as having a mature sense of humour. This is believable. What is not, however, is that Fat was described as having the same. Hmmmm.
• Myself and The Webmaster were described as being "Reliable members of the form". This is believable. What is not, however, is that Fat was described as having the same. Hmmmm.
• Oh, I can't be bothered to write another. You get the picture. Fat was also described as having "an excellent attendance record". This guy skives more than I do. C'mon, man, get with the program.

Well, I expect that y'all'll want to be leaving to go to sunny Spain or Florida or (pauses)....Cornwall now, so I'll leave you to get hidiously sunburnt and try in vain to beat the Germans to the sunbeds etc. Not that I'm bitter. Oh no. No. I'm going to the.....(in quiet voice) Isle of Wight.

Elsewhere in the Office this week:

• Fat complained. A lot. Here are some samples:
  Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by matthew barrett () on Thursday, July 20, 2000 at 09:30:29
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  Other thoughts: stop taking the [Explicitly Deleted] you little gay boy
  
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  Below is the result of your feedback form. It was submitted by matt barrett () on Thursday, July 20, 2000 at 09:31:52
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  Is it good?: No
  
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• My brother (bless him) begged me for money to be able to play golf. Sad man. And also showed off his skills in swinging sacks of doorknobs.
• The Webmaster broke his record for "clothes worn most in one week" by wearing a set of clothes vaugly resembling a Desert Rat uniform for about 5 days straight.
• Steve "Porn King" emphasised the fact that he wouldn't be writing erotic stories in his "sports section" many times. This was funny at first, then we swiftly became rather annoyed with him. Luckily we probably won't have to see him again for a few weeks.

Until next time,

Bigal

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