This Week in the Office IX

Guten Abend. There you go. Thats as good as my German gets.

Dunno why I said that, really. Funny the things that come into your head when you have just had a triple computing lesson, isn’t it?

Triple computing is indeed the most terrible thing that I have to face (Fat aside) during my entire two week timetable. Luckily, I do only have it once every two weeks, on a Thursday but it does indeed numb the brain somewhat when one does have it.

However, a mist seems to have decended over the computing staff during the summer that makes them all act very, very bizarrly. I’m not sure if that is actually a word or not but hey, I don’t really care. Thus with this change in attitude the lessons have become somewhat...hmmmmm......how to put it....weird.

Now, as you all know I have a slight problem with loosing my mind at frequent intervals during nondescript conversations. And perhaps it didn’t help that the two guys who usually help to keep me relativly sane in computing classes were absent, but today’s lesson seemed quite surreal. I shall regail you a brief description of what happened.

• Whilst the teacher was droning on about "nodes" I created an entire new film: "Children Of The Node", in which the world is overrun by a plague of computing employees of various types who bore everyone in the world to death by using terms that make no sense to anyone, and are in fact, it turns out, actually made up on the spot by unintelligent twentysomethings with stomach’s somewhat larger than their brains and a penchant for Star Trek.
• There was a wonderful quote from the sheet that I was given: "Each node has pointers indicating other nodes on the same level and to any subtree for that node". Yes.
• Unfortunatly it seems that (also from sheet): "Binary tree - each parent can only have 2 children" which is no doubt awful for them.
• Another fab quote: "Poon is root node". Poor him.
• Also: "Derry is added. [As Derry is < poon it becomes the left child of Poon]". This sparked my mind and I created a sequel to "Children Of The Node" called "The Left Child Of Poon", which is to be a film with the same plot, the same (older) actors and less of a budget for special effects.
• Working down the sheet we now see the fabulous comment "Dim NameTree(7,3)"
• Finally, to cap it all off nicely comes: "To process the data we "traverse" the tree.". This on its own makes just enough sense. However, less easy to interpret is Mr S’s (name protected to prevent mobbing) comment following that: "...like climbing it," he was heard to say "or ‘stripping the willow’." If anyone understands this they are truely a better man than I.

Elsewhere in the office this week:

• Congratulations to Fat and "his bird" who have just reached the 6 months point in their relationship. On this day Fat, and may it be said this day only, I am truely in awe of how on earth you have managed to keep her this long. Awww, good luck to em. Happy anniversary. And thank you "Fat’s bird" for calming him down in moments of extreme mental angst that cause discomfort to us all.
• The Webmaster’s Beard, voted "facial hair most unlikely to win any compititions for growth in a week" in a recent survey, is now officially big enough to be an entity on its own and is thus demanding the use of a capital letter when it is addressed.
• Vesten "Porn-King" Tit-Hewl returned amid hushed whispers of "Here comes the pervert" and denied catagorically any participation in any indecent "Adult" activities over the summer, also reassuring us in strained tones that he would not be writing erotic stories in his "sports" section.

Well, until the time during which you look at this webpage next,

"Enjoy life and make fun of the Fat one who walks amongst you"

Bigal

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